I don't know if it's the ridiculous amount of free time I suddenly have on my hands, or my laziness to start reading the eBooks I so greedily downloaded, but these past few days I've been spending an alarming amount of time on Elite Daily. Totally fine, just catching up on hate/love-related articles ad nauseam.
So here's the thing: I stumbled upon this particular article that rubbed me the wrong way, to say the least: An Open Letter to The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go and my thoughts can't seem to shut up about it.
Yeesh.
Normally I'm not brave enough to share my private thoughts, especially those concerning my perspective on love and relationships and sparks and all that bit because really, what the hell do I know? But while I may lack enough firsthand experience, I'm still no stranger to unrequited love. I've been on both ends and it's not really smooth sailing.
Long story short, the author explains that at some point in your life, you're going to encounter the "Nice Guy". He's going to be sweet, he's going to call on time, he's going to stick around when you push him away, and when you look up the word "nice" on the dictionary, his picture is going to be there. True, then the author smacks you with her entire point which is do not, under any circumstances, be the unappreciative girl who lets him go for some douchebag to fulfill your fantasy of being said douchebag's Gamechanger and taming the wild beast.
Still true. Partially. I mean, yes, you're bound to encounter the Nice Guy, but guess what, your experience may be relatively different from everyone else's which is totally okay.
A thousand eye rolls later, I still can't seem to emphasize that just because he's a Nice Guy doesn't mean he's the Right Guy.
Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that this kind of guy is ready to hand you the world on a silver platter, but that doesn't mean you owe him anything. Apart from being nothing but honest and grateful for having a person like him show you that kind of love, his kindness does not give you the obligation to love him back. Whether a relationship works or not does not depend solely on his kindness. Sure, it weighs a lot on the hypothetical scale of love, but there are other things and aspects to consider. His passion, his dreams, his perspectives and how he sees the world, (his relationship with your mom??), and the list can go on.
And this doesn't mean you're "picky", but avoiding having to "settle". This doesn't mean that you're unappreciative either, because a guy who waltzes into your life, ready to be your Ted Mosby is an amazing guy, but he might not exactly be what you need.
You don't have to feel guilty about letting the Nice Guy go. I once read this quote that stuck to me ever since: "There is a difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you." You don't have to confuse those two things. If he really is a genuinely Nice Guy, he's not going to assume that you see him as an inadequate person, but simply just not The One.
Lo and behold -- that, my friend, is my two cents on this whole thing. Always felt the need to actually say it, but never really did, and now that I have, I am one less fedora-tipping guy away from strangling somebody.
