LPEP was a two-day activity that was out of my comfort zone. It is my beginning of finally opening up to things that I normally tend to avoid because I was officially stepping into the world of college. As scary as it sounds, I'm proud of how I managed to maneuver my way through the entire day without the company of my best friends. It was lonely and was definitely something I'm not used to, but I liked how independent it made me feel.
The first day was basically consisted of speeches, setting ground rules, getting-to-know-you activities and a campus tour. They arm you with the basic information you're going to need to survive the next 3 or 4 years of college. But of course, what they can't arm you with, are social skills.
"Just go out there and make new friends!"
Yeah, right. That was easier said than done. It's not like I have an attitude problem or intense awkwardness I couldn't handle, it's just you don't know what to expect out of every individual. Coming from a really small school in a small town, I've been with the same people for the last 10 years. I didn't switch schools, but there were new transfers every year. It wasn't hard to be friends with those transfers because they would usually just be 4 or 5 new kids. I didn't have to go through being "the new kid". I was always in the comfort of my friends that I've known all my life...
...until now.
Sure, it was easy to engage someone in a conversation, but the tricky part is to keep the conversation flowing. I was still testing the waters and I was choosing my questions really carefully. You wouldn't want to make the wrong impression. And first impressions are always critical.
After basically getting the names of everybody in my block, I didn't know where to go from there. Who do I sit with? Who do I make small talk with? Knowing me, I wouldn't last a day without cracking a joke or two, and it was difficult to keep it to myself since I don't know who to share it with... let alone, if they'll laugh at it.
So at lunch time, our whole block sits at a really long table that was enough to accommodate us. But unlike high school, I didn't exactly know where my place was. Being in that situation, I decided to make the most of it. I met a lot of interesting people, but most times I just sat there observing. I like to people-watch.
And most of them already had their circle of friends. I took comfort in the idea that they might have come from the same high school which also sort of bummed me out. I didn't know anyone and I was desperate for a familiar face.
We then had our block photos: a formal one and a "wacky" one.
(Aww, I personally love this one.)
To top things off, I had a fever. I was doing well the first few hours, but once we were in our respective classroom, I felt the flu coming down. Which sucked because it slowed me down for the rest of the day. I didn't have the energy to smile at all. Walk around, even. So I wasn't the best company that first day and I don't really blame anyone for not hanging out with me. I wouldn't want to that day either.
Before I went home, I went to Starbucks and met a whole other set of people there. This time, from different blocks and levels. It was interesting to plunge into a whole new scenery, a place filled with so many unfamiliar faces with names I have yet to collect. Being in a crowded place without really knowing anyone there makes me feel more alone than I am by myself in an empty room.
Strange, but exciting. Intimidating, but inviting.
The second day was a whole lot better especially since my fever went away and the activities were much more fun. We had games and I got to meet my other blockmates that I didn't meet the first day. And the Animo Party was definitely the highlight of the afternoon. I loved how everyone was so united and oozing school spirit. I couldn't help but stare in awe at all of us dancing and singing together and just thinking that this is going to be my family for the next 3 or 4 years now. Perhaps even longer.
And this was just the beginning.
So maybe it wasn't exactly what I'm used to, but I like the challenge of basically pressing the restart button on the context of friends, knowledge and experiences. I'm up to exposing myself to different opportunities as well as meeting amazing people.
Maybe it's not as easy as high school, but that's the point. I'm through with that, I'm on to the next level of life. The very intimidating make-it-or-break-it world of college. And why should I let it eat me alive when there are boundless of things I could experience the moment I open myself up to whatever this new chapter throws at me.
I know eventually I'll settle in and warm up to my new everyday routine and new friends. I know I'll look back to my first day of college and think "Err, man, that wasn't perfect, but I grew as a person, as an individual since that day."
So basically, after my two days of LPEP, I learned one vital thing in 2 words:
Open up.
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